Tess writes:
To start the ball rolling, one of my favourite subjects: belief systems.
There are social, cultural and gender based belief systems.
Our behaviour is indicative of what we believe, so it is quite difficult to hide our beliefs over time.
We all develop our own belief systems based on our experiences and environment.
Some of our beliefs empower and motivate us and others hold us back from truly living life.
Some of these beliefs about women are that you are not a real woman unless you have children, you have to find your soulmate or you are not truly fulfilled, women are too emotional, it’s not OK to show anger.
Nothing gives me quite the same buzz as a coach or facilitator, than watching the light go on for another individual when they have a paradigm shift in their reality.
Watching Cirie on Survivor Exile Island realise she could get off the couch and do anything was truly inspiring. She was only sorry she spent the first 35 years of her life on the couch not knowing her own potential.
I have met many women who believe they are not good enough, not pretty enough, slim enough, clever enough, in fact just not enough of anything to have the courage to explore their own potential.
Women seem to buy into these debilitating belief systems much more than men. I have met less women who relish their independence and feel really comfortable with who they are.
In less than 100 years, a drop in the ocean in terms of evolution, women moved from being completely dependent on men, to completely independent, in most western cultures.
So we haven’t really had time to adjust emotionally, mentally or spiritually to our new found independence.
I think we have inherited a legacy of thousands of years of male domination that has left us unsure of ourselves and the boundaries.
I remember growing up expecting to be swept off my feet by a prince charming who would look after me. Because I believed this, I never really gave career planning a thought. When prince charming turned into a poisonous frog, I believed it was my fault and questioned my looks, my personality in fact just about everything. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t find or keep the Prince? The only thing wrong was the question.
There are many beliefs I have had to unlearn and I am fortunate enough to have had the courage to find a career and be able to change careers when it wasn’t working for me (several times). I have moved countries twice and learnt to take risks and trust my instincts. I still have belief systems that hold me back, but at least I know what they are. (Their days are numbered!) What are yours?
Take care of yourself
Tess
Tess Elsen
Tessen Enterprises
Office (011) 787-5361
Fax : (011) 787-4108
Cell : 083 266 1505
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1 comments:
Great to see you have emerged from your cacoon and are writing, in the manner in which I have seen you write so many times before.
Oh goodness, don't get me started on belief systems, I am sure that there would be enough here to start a small or large war, depending on just how vocal everyone wanted to get!
I think that our beliefs as children are generally brought about and influenced greatly by our parents/teachers and later boyfriends/girlfriend and lovers. Not only by what they say and do, but also by the amount of manipulation and/or ego that may be involved.
On a personal level, and mainly due the sound common sense of my Life Coach Vanessa Paige, I have come to understand and believe, that I as a person am both my greatest strength as well as my biggest weakness as it is what I believe of myself and my capabilities that will take me onto my destination on this journey that we call life. I can life myself up or put myself down - no-one has that kind of power over me - unless of course I give them permission.
The biggest lesson that I have learnt over the last while is that "other people's opinions of me are none of my business". Nothing that people say or think of me can have any kind of impact, be it positive or negative, unless I allow it too.
In other words, I AM the master of my own destiny.
That I know for me is the Greatest belief that I could possibly have.
The belief in myself!
Hoping that you all stay strong and well done on a great article Tess.
Regards
Nikki
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